


A Velvety Escapade

by hanbeone



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, SHINee, Super Junior
Genre: 2Min if you squint, Crossdressing, Kyuhyun keeps it classy, M/M, Ninja!Homin, Ninja!Wonkyu, Suho is MIA, minho's a lil bitch, shim Chwang is queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 14:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2153454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanbeone/pseuds/hanbeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, this doesn't even deserve a summary. The tags are enough.</p><p>I'm sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Velvety Escapade

“Kyu-yah, come on,” Changmin groans as he watches his best friend check himself out in the mirror.

 

Kyuhyun, apparently, chooses to ignore him in favour of fiddling with the feathers on the red dress and staring at his face.

 

Okay, so he knew that he made for a pretty girl when he filmed that skit for Saturday Night Live 2 years ago, and even before that with Gee inSS2. He enjoyed the response he got from people, really. But this, this is something he cannot even begin to fathom.

 

Because he's in a fucking dress.

 

The blond wig, make up, tights (because he couldn’t be bothered to shave but still wants a smooth feel even though his leg hair is still visible with them on), red velvet and lacy dress, high heels, and perfectly manicured nails makes him look so smokin' hot. Like, really fucking beautiful actually.

 

And his hyungdeul always laughed at him for his self-declarations of being the fourth most attractive member. Now...shouldn't he be the first? Speaking of which, he hopes none of them will get a glimpse of him before going onstage in order to keep the element of surprise in his hands.

 

His hyungdeul are totally going to lose their shit afterwards.

 

He brushes his fingers in the feathers covering his chest. Seriously though, are the feathers really necessary? But then again, they do hide his nipples from the hungry eyes of fans. Maybe they aren't that bad after all, Kyuhyun decides.

 

“Kyuhyun-ah,” Changmin calls again and this time Kyuhyun listens and turns to face his friend.

 

He blinks, taking in the other for the first time since they've been fully done up by the coordi noonas who had left moments ago. Changmin is oddly pretty (beyond fucking stunning) as well, and the way he runs his hands down his sides is particularly sexy.

 

Yunho's probably going to lose his shit too.

 

Good lord.

 

Why did they decide to do this again?

 

But, who the fuck cares anyway- there's no backing out now.

 

Changmin's laugh is anything but lady-like as he cracks up at the awkward look caught between surprise and embarrassment that is on Kyuhyun's face. When Changmin settles he takes a lock of his soft brown wig and twirls it around a finger while winking.

 

“Aren't I pretty, unnie?”

 

“That's...one word for it,” Kyuhyun mumbles and Changmin's following giggle sounds rather high pitched and fake. What a dork.

 

“I think you're beautiful, hyung,” Minho calls, striding over to the two of them. His high heels clack on the floor and he kind of sounds like a large dog with claws that are too long.

 

Changmin flicks his forehead. “That's unnie to you, brat.”

 

“Fine. I think you're beautiful unnie,” Minho says in a high voice, causing Kyuhyun and Changmin to snicker. He lowers his voice back to normal and with a shit eating grin says, “You should definitely consider looking into getting a sex change.”

 

The comment earns Minho a slap to the back of his head and he aims a glare at Kyuhyun while rubbing the spot where he hit.

 

“Hyung!” he shrieks. Like the slap had been such a foul play.

 

Kyuhyun merely raises an eyebrow, and copies Changmin's earlier action of twirling his long, curly, blond hair. “Yes, sweet pea?”

 

All the indignation in Minho drains as he looks at his exceptionally pretty hyung. He shoots his mouth without thinking for the second time. “You need to get a sex change too.”

 

This time the slap comes from an innocent looking Changmin who quickly links arms with an equally innocent Kyuhyun. The second slap had been much harder than the first which causes Minho to cover his head with both hands. Were they trying to ruin his wig? Probably jealous of the red. Those buggers.

 

“What's wrong, honey bun?” Changmin says in a ~~sickening~~ sweet tone that manages to kill Minho's glare.

 

His hyungdeul truly are gorgeous. He almost feels jealous...which is utterly ridiculous. Minho shakes his head and drops his arms to smooth a wrinkle out of his matching red dress then turns his best puppy eyes on them.

 

“How do I look? I’m hot right?”

 

Changmin stretches out a hand to stroke Minho's red hair.

 

“Like a hoe,” Changmin answers.

 

Minho swats away his hand and forms an ~~awfully gross~~ cute pout. The older men just giggle and bump their hips together. Minho’s expression turns even more pitiful which succeeds in breaking Kyuhyun.

 

“Kind of like an awkward mermaid man who has a terrible fairy godmother,” Kyuhyun modifies while caressing Minho's arm.

 

And that’s good enough for Minho because he is suddenly smiling and looking like an absolutely happy puppy who’s receiving lots and lots of love from his favourite people ever. Though, they sort of are Minho’s favourite people so that is no surprise.

 

“Wait, where's Joonmyun?” Kyuhyun asks, to which the only answer is Changmin and Minho shrugging their shoulders.

 

“He wandered off right after the noonas were done with him,” Minho says.

 

Changmin throws an arm over Kyuhyun's shoulder, the long hair tickling his face due to being so close. “Don't worry about him. He's probably sulking around his members, regretting ever taking up our offer to join kyuline.”

 

“And begging Xiumin to take his place in the performance,” Minho adds, happy when the other two laugh. He really loves being the source of their laughter. It doesn’t even matter if it is directed at himself because Minho knows they completely adore him and just mask their affection with passive-aggressive teasing.

 

Minho walks over to his bag to retrieve his phone to keep Jonghyun updated on the events and relaxes into the couch to start typing away.

 

Changmin looks at the clock to discover that they aren't due to be on stage for about 20 minutes and decides that that is more than enough time to fondle his best friend. Because, god, Kyuhyun's kind of better looking this way.

 

Which isn't weird at all. Nope. A totally normal thought.

 

With a sly smile on his face, Changmin slides his hand down to Kyuhyun's firm ass and squeezes, pulling him closer to whisper in his ear. “Unnie, wanna play with me?”

 

Kyuhyun's eyebrows disappear under the fringe of his wig briefly. He gulps and then sends a soft order to Minho. “Minnie, out.”

 

Minho snaps his head up from his cellphone, lip jutted out in a pout.

 

“Or stay and watch, we don’t care,” Changmin offers not really minding him as an audience. This is Minho after all, who has already witnessed a bunch of shit they've done together. What difference is one more time? “Just lock the door.”

 

Minho stands to do so, blushing a little as Changmin slips his hand in the large slit of Kyuhyun's dress to tease those killer thighs, and Kyuhyun pulls Changmin into a bruising kiss. The youngest stops to watch, intrigued by seeing them touch each other whilst looking like pretty girls. Minho suddenly wishes that Taemin was here too.

 

Right at that moment, before Minho has a chance to turn the lock, the door burst open to reveal the one and only Kim ~~bloody~~ Heechul. And he’s not alone- bringing Hyukjae and Siwon behind him with a couple of staff members.

 

Kyuhyun and Changmin almost trip over their dresses in their haste to separate and pretend like they hadn't just been feeling each other up and sucking face. Thankfully, they don't lose balance. Though, it would have been hilarious if they had.

 

“My sexy bitches!” Heechul crows, parading into the room with a smirk on his lips upon seeing the three shocked occupants of the room. With Minho's 'deer caught in headlights' expression, Changmin's red lips and slight glare whilst fixing his wig, and Kyuhyun's turned back with hands covering his face, there is no fooling Heechul on what they had been up to and what would have continued to happen had he not barged in.

 

Hyukjae and Siwon, on the other hand, are a different story because they are too busy focusing on the dresses and fine as heck legs being revealed.

 

Heechul rakes his eyes up and down Changmin's body, nodding in approval. “Queen is on fire,” Is all he says with a gleam in his eyes.

 

Then he nearly skips over to Kyuhyun and tugs Kyuhyun's hands down away from his face. “No need to hide, baby-Kyu,” he coos softly, “ugh look at you, you bastard. All these years you could have been my partner for Lady Heehee.”

 

“So that you could molest me in front of ELF? You're insane, hyung.”

 

“None of us are fully sane~” Heechul sing songs then snaps his fingers. “Hyukjae came for some quick photo's before he goes on stage in 3 minutes. So everyone get in position.”

 

The next few minutes consist of them arranging for pictures that a staff member takes using Siwon and Hyukjae's phones. It becomes blindingly obvious that Siwon is in heaven with having a classy-lady-Kyu in his hands when he holds Kyuhyun possessively. Kyuhyun just goes a long with it and glares at anyone who dares to laugh at them. Especially Changmin.

All of them tend to forget about the missing person, but whatever. It's his loss.

 

Fifteen minutes later they're walking out on stage, plus one, reminding themselves to think sexy and move prettily.

 

So, maybe Kyuhyun isn't as sexy, flawless and smooth as Changmin, or as fierce as Joonmyun, or as....well- whatever Minho is. But at least he is a classy lady damn it! And that should definitely make up for his mistakes in the dance, which is embarrassing.

 

He blames the way the tights feel when his thighs rub together. It's particularly distracting, okay. And when he runs off stage with Changmin ahead of Minho and Joonmyun, high from the rush, to see Heechul with a proud smile stuck on his annoying face and rambling on about how his 'babies' are finally following in his footsteps; he supposes they did really good.

 

“Such a shame that you have to go back out there shortly,” Changmin whines as he unzips Kyuhyun's dress. “We could have had some fun role playing.”

 

Kyuhyun hums mournfully in agreement, pulling his arms out of the sleeves and shimmies the dress down to his hips where it then falls to the floor.

 

“We could nick the costumes for the night,” Changmin farther muses as he forms the plan aloud. He bends down to pick up Kyuhyun's discarded dress and puts it back on the hanger. “Minho will gladly do it. He can drop them off at my apartment and then we'll shoo him away. But he'll want some sort of payment so I guess that we will have to treat him with dinner next week.”

 

Kyuhyun sighs, stripping the rest of the way. “Chwang, that sounds great. But you know that I'm always dead tired after concerts. And Siwon-hyung's probably going to lock me in his room and not let me out the whole night.”

 

“Then we'll do it tomorrow night, m'kay?” Changmin removes Kyuhyun's wig, the last piece of the costume, totally trying to keep the pout from his lips while he watches his friend get dressed in his next stage outfit.

 

Kyuhyun smiles toothily. “'Kay. You're really into this cross-dressing thing now, aren't you?”

 

“Of course. I'm fabulous,” Changmin says and pops his hip with a hand sliding down velvet. “You love it too.”

 

They both snicker. Changmin is indeed, rather fabulous. No wonder Heechul was almost in tears of joy when they came of stage.

 

“Caught me,” Kyuhyun says, shrugging into a rather disappointing blazer compared to the red dress. “Need me to undo the zipper?” He asks, indicating Changmin's dress.

 

“Nah. I'm going to go find Yunho-hyung first,” Changmin replies and places a quick kiss on Kyuhyun's lips before they exit the change room so that Kyuhyun can go get his hair styled.

 

Changmin hands the wig over to the stylist as Kyuhyun is ushered into a seat.

 

“Hey, Shim Chwang,” Kyuhyun calls before Changmin can escape the busy room. He waits until the stunning man looks back over his shoulder. “Don't tease hyung too badly.”

 

Sending a wave and a dramatic wink, Changmin slips out of the busy room and into an equally busy hallway. He opens a new text message on his phone and starts typing giddily.

 

**_To: MinoMino_ **

**_Honey bun~~~ Kyu-yah and I have a mission for you_ **

 

It's hardly even 10 seconds before he receives a reply.

 

**_From: MinoMino_ **

**_What is it hyung?? ^^_ **

****

**_To: MinoMino_ **

**_I'm still unnie to you, bitch_ **

****

Changmin laughs out loud to himself as he proceeds to give Minho the steps to follow out for tomorrow night. Minho hesitantly accepts after Changmin promises to take him out to dinner twice and have a movie marathon with plenty of alcohol at Changmin's apartment.

****

Greedy bitch.

****

Locking his cellphone, Changmin grins mischievously. Tomorrow's going to amazing, but right now his target is Yunho.

**Author's Note:**

> Boy's Day is gonna be the death of me tbh.


End file.
